Stand 
If love is not genuine, is it love?
If fame turns to vanity, will haughtiness not be its story?
Can money gained through deceit buy happiness?
If faith is varnished with hypocrisy, is it not quicksand?
If fairness is doled out with restraint, is it not corruption?
Rather then love, then fame, then money, then faith, then fairness, give me TRUTH.
That my foundation is plainly seen, without restraint, without regrets.
That's where I will stand.
Triangle 

I know a young woman named Janet
Janet has two sons, 
her husband Geff is a cop
he is paid well - he loves his guns
his job is dangerous
he only works three hours in a day
and only three days in a week

on Facebook one day, Geff showed his weapons
one was gold-platted this was his favorite; 
all covered in gold, he said it was sensual
he looked handsome in his uniform
but rarely wore it, Geff is an assassin

my fiancée said Geff was taller than me
but I had a picture of him next to her
he wasn't taller then me
Geff went into dangerous places
he worked from 1 am to 4 am
he killed people his superiors targeted
as they slept, with family around them
all in one bed, Geff broke down the door,  
and shot and killed them
my fiancée said people respect him, fear him
I told her they only fear him
one night while walking alone, our paths crossed
I saw him and he me, 
he had a Spanish made CZ Scorpion 
strapped to the front of his chest
it was dark, I walked to him, and we embraced
the automatic weapon was forced upward 
it gently touched under my jaw
a handshake wasn't an option, either he would kill me
or something deeper would take sway
we agreed to meet and talk the following day
he wasn't taller than me
I sent Janet $45 a few days ago, 
she and the boys are weakening
COVID hits hard in these regions
I look back on the events and wonder 
if any good came or will yet come
Janet thanked me and said it is a good day
tonight we will eat meat
Protecting you 
on my side
even if I am stressed
with any issue
I don't go sharing
I never want people
to know your weakness
The Botox Party 
I was at a Starbucks last week and there were three woman there having a business meeting. One was the owner and the others managers of a salon. The conversation was of who'd they may let go, how to increase skills and fees, what kind of waxes, hair extension training/equipment and finally the planning of a Botox party. 
My own excesses over a half a lifetime leave me no room to be critical or in anyway judgmental (I did say I was at Starbucks). But the contradiction of having seen children starving to death last summer (hair turning red due to malnutrition) and the excesses we reach in our everyday lives is astounding. It's all around us - great absurdity. It's everywhere - and I'm as guilty as anyone else - I'm working hard to change myself. 
I know life isn't fair, but still - people can be fair. As individuals we can choose to be fair. 
The tirade 
I feel I'm sinking - getting submerged in you
already I have tried many times to keep away 
I’ve tried to keep with your pace 
to keep in step with where your heart is
I thought I was far from the world 
and then suddenly I am meeting you
you govern me so well
that it is stirring this heart of mine

I’m at once powerless and empowered 
until I was thinking of running away 
from that reality for some time maybe 
and maybe I will be fine in my escape

though I don't think I will handle it 
still I jumped in  
with both legs and hands 
just understand me please

it's not easy for me to restrain 
soon i fear I will relinquish a tirade
not poetic but born of pressure and longing
and a love like non has ever felt
Sweet you 
It's sweet to dwell on you
easy to lose myself 
in the thought of your smile

I want your hand
to have
to hold

I want to walk with you
in sun
in rain

To stand with you
against the winds
the tides and time

It's so sweet to dwell on you
and to lose myself in the thought 
of us together
Jarka's letter from makuru 
can't forget my children
can't forget my world
can´t exchange my life 
with some of these kids
i will go
they will stay
can't forget the sky
can't forget the african night time
if you look at it too long, 
you feel like you might fall into it
keep falling for the rest of the days
it is so big and so deep 
i could stand, on dirty feet
i could stand all night long, looking up
can't forget how big - how deep
never-ending and yet, not overwhelming 
since I know its´ creator 
who is my Father
and so I pray, before I fall asleep, 
not forgetting about my kids, 
not forgetting about the world, 
smiling over all the happiness in my life, 
crying because I can´t exchange my life 
with some of these kids
every child deserves all I have 
so why am I so lucky?
i thank my Lord, i'm trying
every second trying
but i´m too human, too unworthy
still he stays by my side, fixing what I break.
i'm changed, 
i'm better,
i'm held in His hands
my children are held in His hands
the stars are held in His hands
it's all so worth the price i paid
standing barefoot 
staring at the african sky
i could stand outside looking up all night 
but I need to go to sleep 
because tomorrow at 6 a.m.
i  have to give kids their medicine
no smoking 

my Mom passed away
just a few weeks ago
i never told her i smoked
she thought i was perfect
When i was young,
we lived in Hollywood Florida
i was six
i had a magnifying glass
i found a cigarette butt
on the road
no one was around
i focused the sun on
the end of that cigarette
it lit
not knowing any better
i took a deep puff,
just one deep, deep puff
i started coughing
i coughed so hard, and i
couldn't stop
by the time i finally stopped
my throat hurt
and i couldn't speak
that's the only time
i ever smoked

i miss my Mom so much.
i would give anything to
call her right now
and tell her i smoked.
coffee 
the rain is coming down
sweetly singing
the day is gray
a little cold
i so wish us together
it’s you
that knocks me down
i didn’t realize
i wasn’t prepared
for stormy weather
that one heart would
beat as thunder
that one smile should
flash as lighting
or passion as both
hurricane and tether
this is why
when we have coffee
and you pass a cup to me
i take the cup in such a way
that our hands should touch
black 
on that last morning
the start of that last day
i looked around
knowing i'd have to go
i was alone
the brothers
were in prayer
you were a couple miles away
i wanted to grasp
unto something
unto anything
i didn't want you to show
seeing you only meant
the time to go was too close
and the time to be apart too close
and then you were there
on that last day
you were all black
a black woman
in a black coat
with a black blouse
and black pants
on your head a black hat
and so smart – all in black
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